Neo's ddsopt settings are the same as step as I recall.
For the laptop just do the same as on the pc and try just to halfsize the normal maps (*_n.dds and *_msn.dds) of the major text packs (mostly make it 1024x1024)
As for wich, SRO, SHD, Skyrim HD 2K and AV if you use it would atleast be the best idea. (for me these were enough)
And you should do it in each mod folder (dont run ddsopt thru MO)