Thanks, but the issue of leftover files from previous installation that some of those users had doesn't apply here, it's a completely clean installation from the standalone directory. There are no leftover or overwritten files.
I deleted my local appdata temp dir in case there was something remaining from 2.96 which I made the jump from, but still have the problem. Concerned this might be a very specific issue at OS level that will be a nightmare to diagnose.
Fresh logs:
https://pastebin.com/fftNBJhh bugreport
https://pastebin.com/dDAw30cD ssedebug
https://pastebin.com/UkW7SyvF sselog