i figured out why it happened, its because of cathedral landscapes, it has terrain lod included. removed the terrain lod from it and everything returned back to normal. double checked everything to make sure I wasn't crazy
all drivers are up to date, i've just started troubleshooting and removed noble skyrim + smim + blended roads, with those it finishes in 30~ minutes, i've run dyndolod before with much bigger textures so something must be up with my windows or the mods and no, i didnt use treefullfallback nor did i mess with windows page file settings
everything goes smoothly until dyndolod open lodgenx64, after that my ram shoots up to 100% usage and my computer turns into a snail, if I check task manager it shows lodgen using almost all my ram + barely using the cpu ( 0.2% at best ).. what should I do? i got it to finish once by waiting for like 6 hours but i cant do this every single time, https://drive.google.com/open?id=1WjeWVdoCrRjN0THE4FK3-t3wHh4l9wUF ( my DynDOLOD_SSE.ini ) I have a 9900k@5ghz + 16gb of ram, and yes the CPU oc is stable